Isn't this the chick who sings "KARMA"?

Enough already with the home wreckers, Alicia Keys! I am quite sick and tired of women who zoom in on married, engaged and men in relationships. Despite the rumors, there is not a shortage of men, so cancel the shameless acts of desperation. Since I've entered the roaring 20s, I've gained a new appreciation for the protection of genuine relationships and marriages. Maybe that's the main reason I am waiting to marry when I am truly ready: financially & emotionally. I have also encountered more and more women who are proud to have relationships with men who are married. The pitiful justifications I hear are; " He doesn't want her, he wants me", "It must not be too good at home, he's with me" or "He is going to leave/divorce her any day". So, here's where I stand on top of a building and scream like a cast member in Spike Lee's "School Daze" WAAAAAKE-UUUUUP". Have we demoted ourselves to a level of being proud to be the home-wrecker? I mean really, if a man is going to leave his significant other, he does'nt need your help. I sympathize with the women who actually believe that anything good will come from deceit, adultery & lies. Don't you know that good will always win over evil? I send this blog out to the women who have lost all respect for themselves and would settle for another woman's man. I will continue my tirade by letting you know that just because you have entered into an adulterous affair with another woman's man, you will get back ten times what you have put out. Do you really believe you will have a happily ever after? I sure hope not. Most recently, pop singer, R&B superstar Alicia Keys has "Fallen" for a married man and is now 5 months pregnant by him. Let's keep in mind that their divorce has not been finalized, ummm huh. More importantly, Keys has not addressed the situation at all. I believe as a public figure & icon, Keys owes it to her fans and the public to acknowledge the affair. It appears that Keys' music is the direct opposite of her personal life. Songs like "Superwoman", "Un-breakable" and isn't this the chick who sings "Karma" all speak against deceitful ways to obtain true love. You guys can hate me if you want, but I call a spade a spade. Am I judging her, No....Am I questioning her character? Absolutely. I will never elevate a celebrity to a point where their morality is overlooked, neither should you. Now, let me go back to singing "...what goes around, comes around...la la la".

Back to The FASHION: 80s Edition

So for those of you who have been living under a rock for the past 5 years, I would like to brief you on the Modern 80’s fashion 2010 has brought into full swing! The door-knocker earrings, loud neon-colored make-up, skin tights and off the shoulder trends are sweeping through the streets faster than the newest hot Air Jordan© kicks. This fashion movement brings back the warm, fuzzy feeling hip-hop and rock gave you when you first heard “La Di Da Di” or “I Love Rock-n-Roll”. However, with all these retro-trends, come the retro-disasters. Have no fear, I am here to make sure your 80’s Fashion crossover is a smooth one. I have listed a few Do’s & Don’ts on how to gracefully bring back the 80’s spirit without the fashion nightmares.


DO’S

1. Gold hoops & medium door knocker earrings are a must

2. Long liquid tights in black or earth tone colors

3. Off-the-Shoulder shirts

4. Bright colored pumps

5. Fitted Halter tops

6. Pastry Sneakers

7. One Streak of pink, purple or blue in your hair, Sideways Ponytails

8. Intense Red Lip Stick, Light sparkle colored Eye-Shadow

9. Washed out Denim Skinny leg jeans, fitted dress, colored jeans

10. Fitted Mini-Skirts, Jumpers

DON’TS

1. Earrings with your name, boyfriend’s name or nickname written across it

2. Biking shorts or Tennis Skirts

3. Shirts tied to the side, back or front with a scrungie

4. Shoulder Pads

5. SPANDEX anything!! Especially bra-tops & work-out tops

6. British Knights, Keds or FILAS

7. Bangs, Teased Hair or JHERI CURLS

8. Visible Tri-Color Eye-shadow, Intense Blush or Glitter Lip Gloss

9. Denim Skirts, Mom Jeans or Jean Jackets

10. Tu-tu Skirts, Wind-breaker Sets, or Diamond Studded Bras

What is Black?

Black is a color. The color Black is impermeable, almost impossible to see through, making it the ultimate shade for any type of light. The homogenous mixture of every single color in the spectrum creates the color Black. In essence, this idea of Black-Americans comes as a direct reference to the origins of the color Black. Many Black-Americans have ancestral roots in Asian, Native American, European and Spanish cultures. While, there is no doubt that the African ancestry runs through the Black-American lineage, it is important to note this term; Black. The reference of Black-Americans has changed throughout the course of American history and still, is not yet ideally defined. Black-Americans have been: Afrikans, Coloured, Negro (N*ggers), Mulattos, Creole, Quadroon, Octoroon, Afro-Americans, Black and African-Americans (just to name a few). So, this is a good spot to insert my hypothesis one last time; What is Black? As the "futuristic" theme of 2010 nestles in mid-year; do we still self-identify as Black? First, I would like to address the critics who have continued to read this blog while their blood pressure keeps going up. There is nothing wrong/negative with the color or racial identity Black, however as the facial features, racially mixed families and cultural blurs surface daily...What is Black? Are we still Black? Has our term changed? The 2010 Census has also provoked conversation as to what exactly are Black/African Americans.  I overheard a very obviously looking Black male say to his girlfriend, "It's still funny to me that people think that I am Black in America...I am Dominican, why can't that be a choice?" Though grouped in that category, there are still some Black Americans un-easy about that racial choice. Some Black Americans would rather express ALL of their ethnic background traits, instead of say: BLACK. I have no problems with being called Black, but it is a problem when I elaborate on my heritage and people ignore me or laugh and say, "Girl you just Black". I come from a multi-racial, multi-cutural, multi-geographical history and I would like to share that. Hello, I am Joia and I am the product of the African, Native-American, Caribbean Spanish, European peoples whose immigrants rested in Memphis, Chicago, New York and Canada. Nice to Meet You.

COLOR your Kisses

Color Your Kisses!
By: Joia Erin
May 17, 2010

Okay, so for those of you who don’t know, summer is the perfect time to put a little color on your kisses. Out with the Spring glosses and balms; on to the rouge, lavender, & burnt orange lip stains and lipsticks. Whatever you decide, make sure the colors compliment your skin tone and summer mood. Your kiss color could be the perfect “something” to spice up your summer life. Take it from the honeybees at Honey magazine to guide you to the perfect splash!


“Married”= If you are happily married and proud of your man, show him a little love by coloring your kisses with shades of Rose Gold. This is a very romantic color that will show your hubby that your kisses are reserved especially for him. We suggest: Lorac Breakthrough Performance Lipstick SPF 15 “It Girl” Coral $22

“Engaged”= Congratulations! Solidify this engagement with a touch of deep pink/magenta lip stains. There’s nothing like a pink trace on your man’s neck or side lip to show that this man will be soon off the market. Deep pink is fun & flirty and reminds the future hubby life with his future wife will be fun & exciting. We suggest: Korres Mango Butter Lipstick Fuchsia 54 $18


“In a Relationship”= You love birds just can’t get enough of each other, can you? Well since you will be drooling all over each other for awhile we suggest that you make your stamp cool & classy with a nude pink or light peach lipstick lined lightly with a warm amber lip liner. Have fun. We suggest: Make-Up-Forever’s Pearly Beige Pink Lipstick $19


“Casual Dating” = You’re not quite ready for the title, but that doesn’t mean you’re not ready for action! Dip your lips in burnt orange & watch your dating life brighten up! This shade can be tricky, so make sure you find the correct pair for your skin tone before you pucker-up. Play around with this fun color, especially in your nightlife! We suggest: M.A.C.’s Charismatic Terracotta with gold (Lustre) $14


“Single”= Before you get swept off your feet by Prince Charming, take a few moments to celebrate your independence. There’s no better way to say, “I am woman, hear me roar” than to cover your lips in some shade of red. Yes, we said it—ROUGE! There are so many ways to wear red, so don’t be afraid of this color. You are single and loving it, be confident and dash on some red. We suggest: Kat Von D’s Painted Love Lipstick “Underage Red” $18


Can’t wait to see your colored-kisses.

SHe's Still GoTTA Have IT!

Does anyone remember the 1986 breakthrough Spike Lee Joint, She's Gotta Have it? This film celebrated female sexual emancipation and authority, while presenting its characters as completely intelligent and successful beings. She's Gotta Have It is by far one of my favorite Spike Lee joints because this was the first film where I paid attention to the subliminal social commentary that Lee makes in most all of his works. So let's fast forward to 2010, can you believe it's 2010 already?!? The topic of women who are unapologetic, open and excited about their sexual lives is still somewhat of a taboo. Like the main character in Lee's film, Nola Darling, thousands of women do one of three things; 1) Are Nola 2) Daydream about being Nola or 3) Pity Nola. Just the idea of living an open sexual life as a woman, especially in the South, makes eyebrows rise. Contrary to the elaborately open and humorous sex lives that men lead, the double standard of a woman discussing the same thing is disappointing. Gossip columnists say that lately our "good girl gone bad" Rhianna has been displaying the behavior of Nola by bragging on her sexual escapades with multiple men as a way to reclaim her power after being victim last year with the Chris Brown incident. Everyday women like you and I, may channel our alter egos (mines is Bunny Monroe) and think of a life where your sex life was exciting, fun and free from all emotion!! However, why do women need a reason to celebrate their sexuality? Men are required to contribute some type of story or incident when sex is brought up, but women should politely smile like frozen barbiedolls. So, Does She Still gotta have it? Does she even want to talk about it? Whether you are experienced at sex or not, the topic of sex in 2010 should not make women uncomfortable. I dream of a day when women of all ages, races, sexual experiences, no sexual experience could sit down and talk about what sex means to us. We act as if there exist a real stork who delivers babies, STDs, hurt feelings and everything else associated with sex. Let's talk about it! In the film, Nola juggled three partners and never wanted to commit to anyone of them. Though sexual promiscuity should never be condoned, it is necessary to examine why women cannot speak openly about sex as men do. Let's reclaim our independence in 2010, like Nola. So why are you still reading...GET TO TALKING!!!!

The New "Traditional Family"

Have you heard about the new American traditional family that includes 1 girlfriend, 1 boyfriend, and maybe a child or two? Yes! This is the latest thing! Why get married and pledge your love and devotion to one man or one woman in a matrimonial ceremony, when your biggest life decision could be living in an apartment with your girl/boyfriend!!! Don't be the last to catch on to this trend; even though the expectancy may be short...It's worth following the trend and doing what you wanna do!!


As satirical as this opening paragraph is, it is sadly true. I am so sick and tired of people leading selfish lives and bringing children into their mess! The reason I can speak on this topic so well, is not because I currently live with my boyfriend, but because I could have. The decisions that we make in life could alter our futures, the ones we love and maybe those we don't even know. I am a young woman who has been in love just like any other person. I have made foolish decisions, yet chose not to repeat them. My ultimate reasons for listening to my elders, spiritual leaders and parents have given me great ambition.

Perhaps the biggest thing that repulses me is when those who choose to "live together" justify their decisions by countering those who are married. I hear things like, "It's just like we're married, Marriage changes everything, and we are both grown". Are you kidding me? Just because you are making the decision to live with someone does not give you the right to deem those who are married as foolish or “old-fashioned”. I don't care what people say, living with someone is a very irresponsible choice.

I am prepared for the arguments:

[Argument #1] We are trying it out now because when we get married it will be harder to get out [Argument #2] This is a new day and age and more people are living together than getting married anyway [Argument #3] My mom and dad never got married and they are still together [Argument #4] We are adults and what we choose to do is our business [Argument #5] We are saving our money by living together since we are with each other every single day

REBUTTLES: Argument #1= I’ve heard of trying out ice cream, test driving cars and even trying on clothes, but not marriage. You either obey what God has set forth or remain in a romantic relationship in separate residences. Do you get a chance to try out you parents and give them back when you are a teenager? Do you get to try your children out? Well, marriage is weighed just as important.

Argument #2= This is a new day and age, but the fact still remains that people are still getting married. So what if everybody else is doing it? Are you a leader or a follower?

Argument#3= my mom & dad have been married for 30 years now and they NEVER lived together before getting married. If you have parents who are living together and have never been married, they are passing this morality to you and it’s sad that you think that it is right.

Argument #4= Well, what you choose to do has nothing to do with you being an adult. In fact, adults make up largely the entire population, and the population makes some of the most terrible decisions. Also, when you bring children into the relationship, it becomes their business too.

Argument #5= There are countless ways to save money as a couple without choosing to be roommates. Couples have created interesting ways of saving money like a joint savings account, cooked instead of eating out, formed side jobs like owning a sno-cone stand or sold brownies. Living together is not the single answer to saving money as a couple.

So go ahead and take your best shot! I believe that I have covered the major issues why couples justify living together, but I am sure there are a thousand more pitiful excuses!!

What are your opinions about Sarah Kruzan?

This story is one of the reasons, somedays, I can never truly say I am proud to be an American...especially one who is about to enter into the United States legal system. I came across this story on another blog site and wanted to bring more awareness to this story. Sara Kruzan was a troubled girl from Riverside, California who was rasied by a single abusive mother and sadly, G.G. a 31 year old pimp. Kruzan talks about the days when she was an honor roll student and an over-achiever in school. She even won a local Young Author's award on a book she wrote about the effects of drugs. However, she also mentions that when her mother was not around, G.G. was there to take care of her and her friends. He bought them lavish gifts and provided transportation to "elementary/middle" school events like roller skating and dances. Kruzan tearfully recalls that even though she now knows that he was grooming her for  a life of prostitution; he was the only one that was there for her. When she turned 13, G.G. took her virginity and told her that she now worked for him. He filled her head with stories like "you are too pretty to give it up for free", "all men want is sex" and "men will hurt you, I'm here to take care of you". Kruzan said that G.G. had her and the other girls working long hours (anywhere from 6:00pm until 5:30am). She endured abuse from him and continued to live in poverty, while he became more profitable. When she turned 16, she devised a plan to kill G.G. because she saw no other way to flee from this lifestyle. The State of California not only tried Kruzan as an adult, but sentenced her to life in prison without parole (plus four years). Today Kruzan is 29 and still behind bars. I emphathize with Sarah Kruzan, not because I lived her life; but because I understand that sometimes to save millions, one life must be shed. Yes,some voluntarily give their lives for others, but others do not. Kruzan deserves a second chance and for those who disagree; throw the first stone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR7mno6p9iQ